So fetch: Quotes mais épicas de Mean Girls

Mean Girls (ou Meninas Malvadas) pode passar despercebido aos olhos de muitos que nunca sequer ouviram falar do filme - o que acredito ser um pouco difícil, considerando seu sucesso.

Sinopse: Criada na África ao lado dos pais, Cady Heron encara agora uma nova vida nos Estados Unidos, sua terra natal. Cercada de cuidados e acostumada a ter aulas em casa durante catorze anos, a adolescente acaba sendo matriculada numa escola pública. Inicialmente, como era de se esperar, se sente um peixe-fora-d´água. Mas não demora muito para que ela comece a se enturmar com a jovem Janis e Damian, dois amigos revoltados que não conseguem se enquadrar em nenhum dos grupos do colégio.

Dentro da estrutura social da escola, estão as patricinhas lideradas por Regina - uma menina muito popular e ao mesmo tempo manipuladora (ela praticamente comanda as fiéis amigas Gretchen e Karen). As garotas, no entanto, acabam se simpatizando com Cady, que se junta no que elas mesmas consideram ser a elite da escola. Deslocada no cruel e fofoqueiro grupo, Cady é convencida por Janis e Damian a continuar andando com as Meninas Malvadas, para espioná-las e descobrir maneiras de tirar a majestade do grupo no colégio. A missão, porém, acaba ficando difícil quando a garota conhece Aaron, ex-namorado da líder Regina, por quem se apaixona. Agora, Cady vai sentir na pele a ira das patricinhas, que farão tudo para impedir que o casal fique junto.

Quem lê a sinopse acaba achando um pouco bobo quando, na verdade, é épico. Lançado em 2004, o elenco conta principalmente com Lindsay Lohan (Freaky Friday), Rachel McAdams (The Notebook), Amanda Seyfried (Chloe), Lacey Chabert (Family Guy) e outros atores bem conhecidos, como Tina Fey (30 Rock) e Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation). Nesse post, mostrarei as melhores quotes do filme.

  

"Get in, loser. We're going shopping."

Mr. Duvall: Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa.

Ms. Norbury: [to black Michigan girl] Welcome!

Black Michigan girl: [offended] I'm from Michigan!

Ms. Norbury: Great!

Student: Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?

Janis: Your mom's chest hair!

Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damian sat next to her in English last year.

Damian: She asked me how to spell orange. (...)

Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.

Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.

"That's Damian, he's almost too gay to function."

Regina: Why don't I know you?

Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.

Regina: What?

Cady: I used to be home-schooled.

Regina: Wait... what?

Cady: My mom taught me at home...

Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not retarded! So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!

Cady: I didn't say anything.

Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?

Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

  

Karen indignada com o fato de Cady ser branca e ter vindo da África.

Karen: On Wednesdays we wear pink.

Mrs. George: I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?

Regina: Please stop talking.

Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.

Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see? (...)

Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.

Cady: What do you mean?

Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.

Karen: God. My hips are huge!

Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.

Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.

Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.

Regina: My pores are huge.

Karen: My nail beds suck.

Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.

Karen: Ew!

  

Reação das "plásticas" ao ouvirem Cady dizer que tem mau-hálito de manhã.

Damian: Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?

Cady: It's Cady.

Damian: Oh Cady, here you go, one for you... And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.

Gretchen: That is so fetch!

Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

Gretchen: Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!

Karen: I can't go out, I'm sick.

Regina: Boo, you whore!

Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.

Regina: Is butter a carb?

Cady: Yes.

Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.

Regina: So...?

Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.

Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.

Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!

Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!

Gretchen: You can't sit with us!

Regina: These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.

Regina: Fine! You can walk home, bitches.

 "How do I even begin to describe Regina George?"

Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.

Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.

Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.

Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.

Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane... and he told her she was pretty.

Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face. It was AWESOME.

Shane: Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.

Regina: What?

Shane: They make you gain weight like crazy.

Regina: Motherf...!

Karen: Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles.

Karen: And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it.

Karen: And I'm sorry for repeating it now.

Gretchen: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.

 "This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met. DO NOT TRUST HER. She is a fugly slut!"

Crying Girl: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

Damian: She doesn't even go here!

Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?

Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...

Ms. Norbury: Ok, go home.

Sei que a lista é enorme, mas em se tratando de Mean Girls é impossível ter uma pequena de quotes memoráveis (isso porque ainda tive que tirar algumas). No MTV Movie Awards de 2005, Rachel McAdams venceu o prêmio de melhor atriz revelação e foi indicada para melhor vilã; Lindsay venceu o de melhor atriz e as quatro principais (Rachel, Lindsay, Lacey e Amanda) venceram o de melhor grupo. O de "melhor vilã" seria um prêmio bem merecido para a McAdams, uma pena não ter ganhado. Long live the queen Regina George!

JJ.